Clover's Birth Story

There are a lot of grammar errors and spelling errors.  Too much to fix.

Woke to a usual day on Saturday Aug 30th.  My 40th week and due date.  I decided to finish up some work then get cleaning.  The whole house.  Top to bottom, laundry and all.  This would have been the third time that I have done so.  Lately I have been leaving the work station up in the living room.  Clover's nursery is now where the Studio was.  We will refinish the basement to be the studio one day in the oh my god never future.  Any way.  On this day I put everything, all sewing stuff, away.

My husband came home on time as usual and I asked him to take me to the natural store.  As I thought I was coming down with a cold.  I felt run down like a cold was coming on.   I wanted to get some zinc and C in me to prevent the cold, cuz who would want a cold for labor.  We didn't have success there as the labels all said consult doctor if you are pregnant.

We headed off to Walmart for some dry goods.  We decided to make Chili for dinner.  We walked the entire store.  On our way home we stopped at Hannaford for the actual grocery cuz who wants to buy meat at Walmart.   We got home so late and tired we made a quick meal instead. On our way home my husband said that a woman at work said we would we have her at midnight. 

We headed into bed around 10:30pm.  As we sat in bed we were marveling over Clover moving around in the belly.  It was as if she was teepee she would peak to a pyramid.  It was interesting.  Sort of strong and a bit uncomfortable.  Then she kept doing it.  About a half hour after that I got up to use the bathroom before sleep and was paralyzed with pain.  Such a sharp cramp came on that I was unable to move.  My husband rushed over to my side of the bed hugged me and beckoned my to move, to walk.  I couldn't.  Then finally I said ok lets walk.   I said as we walked out of the room and down the hall were "maybe these are contractions not her moving".  maybe we should call the hospital to make sure it is normal and labor at home.   As I am saying this my husband is close behind locked onto my back and body supporting me.  Then suddenly I felt him hot, wet and heavy.  I say "are you panicking?"  "yah I think so, I'm gonna pass out.  I have to sit down".  He goes down in the hallway.  I am now fine and manage to get him into the bed where he continues to deteriorate.  I try to reinforce that I am fine and we need to calm him down.  As he insists that he needs to help me.  He "labors" through his ordeal on his stomach as we sweats uncontrollably.  I would say about a half hour has passed by.  He is feeling better not 100% by any means and I decide to get in my side of the bed.  I sit and two seconds later my water breaks.  Not just breaks into a trickle it ruptured on to my bed.  I blurt out "my water broke we have to go".  It was 11:15pm.  We gather our bag and head out the door.  I ask my husband if I should drive as he didn't look so good. Now mind you i am gushing water but more together than him.  Him, my rock, my coach.  The one to stop me from pain and anxiety.  My dress is soaked the car seat is now soaked as well.   He insists he is fine and will be able to drive into Portland.  As we approach the toll booth he starts to look rather unpleasant.  He begins to throw up out the window as we drive through.  I plead for him to pull over.  He does and finishes as properly as he can out the window.  "my coach ladies and gents"  I know him well and I know that I have lost my coach and myself.  I need him to be strong as I am weak when he is sick or like this I lose myself.  It has happened before.  He is sensitive to such tings.  I should have know and paid the cash for a Doula.

We get to the hospital and I swear the entrance to the Labor and Delivery is a million miles away.  I drench the entire hallway.  Thinking in my mind as water runs down my legs I should be putting up wet floor cones.
We arrive at the hospital at 11:45pm and they put me in triage to evaluate me.  After 5 minutes of the questions I say my water broke will I lose it all.  She said of course not but I didn't realize your water broke.  4 minutes later a nurse came in and said I am taking you into Labor Delivery right away. THE TIME IS MIDNIGHT ON THE DOT...

We entered the "room" the room we saw during our tour of the hospital.  The room we are going to labor in for the next 26 hours.  They get us settled in and we stated we are going natural so they let us go.  My husband goes to sleep.  I tell him to its ok he needs the rest.  it is now 1230 and there is no telling how bad it will get and I will need him rested.

Maine Medical Center is a teaching hospital so we had a nurse then a doctor and a few others.  I will talk more on the nurses and doctors later.  My husband is still sleeping.  He is in and out for a bit here and there.  It is getting light out and the nurse and doctor tell me that I am not progressing.  That I am less than 3 cm and with a rupture I should be further along or I will be put on "watch".  She suggests I go on Piction.  I do not want this.  I read so many times that it makes them hurt more.  So we opted for nipple stimulation.  I was not able to walk around because I was alone and scared so the best for me to do was stay in bed or stand and want to use the bathroom, which was horrible, the toilet was to high my feet did not touch.  Hours later I begin the drip and they do pick up in intensity and frequency.  7am comes and it is shift change.  A new nurse and a new doctor.  I swear the doctor had long nails.  She was very painful when she did the internal.  Still nothing.  I was not advancing.   I was also not laboring.  Just experiencing these very painful contractions every 2 minutes that were not doing a thing.  About afternoon my husband comes around and tells me he is here and will be able to assist now.  I need someone.  I needed to use the bathroom but the seat was too high, my feet didn't touch the ground / or just barely.  So that kind of labor was out.  I couldn't use the tub because of rupture.  Next was dancing or the ball.  No ball was used because I was scared.  And noone to tell me how or cheer me on.  I began to lose my shit.  I lost all training.  My husband lost all his coaching.   I was begging him to send me into a meditative state.  Like in the classes.  He had no idea what I meant.  Later at home I saw a page open to Google search "mediation".  He was trying but it was too late.  {I cried when I saw the page, he is a dear soul a kind nurturing person, a sensitive bloke}  I was lost.  I asked for some relief.  Scared as I asked.  They stated that I could have nubain and / or an epidural.  I didn't want to give my baby narcotics.  They said it would take the spike, the peak of pain of the contraction away.  It would still be felt but not that sharp peak.  They said the epidural team was in a c-section so we had to wait.  I went for it.  I had to take the nubain.  It hit me instantly.  My head got all bobby and it was a drug induced couple hours. 

It was getting on in the day about 6pm and I was only about 5cm.  The epidural team was now in surgery.  I was waiting and waiting begging.  Forgot to mention that when the doctor came in to confirm I wanted the epidural she asked "catherine you wanted natural should i have you beg a couple more times"  In my drug induced state I had to gather all my senses and look her in the eye with as much sound and mind and ensure to her that I do indeed know the decision I am making and wish for the procedure.  But really I wanted to fire a bullet at her.   She was gone I didn't see her again, thank god she was not the one to deliver Clover.  About 645 the nurse and the epidural team came in.  They administer the drug and I was then told that i would not be able to walk or move or eat or drink until after labor.  That was news to me.  So now at this point I have not slept or eaten since our dinner at 8p, Aug 30th.  It is now 645p, Aug 31. 

Shift change.  A new set of doctors a new nurse.  I didn't like this nurse.  She was not catering at all.  She made me feel like I was bothering her.  Not that I asked anything of her but to use that bathroom or the like.

A new doctor came in.  She had a southern accent and blonde hair.  She did the exam on me, this is about 10pm.  I was 5cm STILL.  She said that my water had not broke.  We all knew that was wrong.  The nurse said yes it has she is on PROM alert as of 12 hours ago.  Then the doctor worked harder and stated i was a four bag and popped it.  I am numb and have no clue anything is happening to me.  The doctor said she would be back at 11pm to check for progress.  My medication needed to be taken at 11pm.  The crappy nurse was late with the medication.  She brought it in at 1145.  She literally held the door for the doctor.  I have to chew my meds so it was stuck in my throat for the entire pushing.  If it were not there it would have been a lot easier to push.  I also had a pain in my left rib cage.  I thought it was her foot.  I was nervous she would get it broke each time I sat and pushed.  The doctor after an hr told me no that is most likely the only place I am feeling the pain.  That made it easier to ignore but still difficult to inhale.   I asked how long it would take to get her out.  They said I would push for about 5 hours.  WHAT.  One and a half hours later I had her out.  1:37am on Sept 1st.  They said that it was so fast and I had a the holy grail of epidurals.  They let me feel nothing, yet when I was having a contraction I could feel it before the nurse knew on the monitor.   My husband was amazing at this point.  He was there holding my leg and cheering me on.  I can still see the look on his face as I stared into his eyes.  He revealed later that he wanted to throw up, I guess labor smells bad.  GROSS...
I was so uncomfortable after labor.  And tired.  I didn't end up falling asleep until 530am Set 2nd and that was only for 2 broken hours. 
Since my water broke and I was considered PROM.  Meaning my baby had to be watched for infection over the next 4 days.  She was taken from me after the skin to skin to have her blood drawn, this later will prove to be a scare.  It is very sad to have a newborn have to have an needle.  Then from there on she had her temp and vitals checked every 4 hr.  That made it much harder for us to sleep and for her to get the rest and relaxation she needed.  Poor thing.  It was such a delight to hold and hug her.  She is so beautiful.  It was such a shame to have it bothered here and there.  Plus no one tells you how much pain you are in after labor.  You can't really sit to well or hike yourself up in bed because of the pain, swelling and enormous ice pad you have on.  The side of a extra long brick, yes that thick. 

To make this story short at the end it was still a bit of torture.  I had no clue how to be a mom, I was tired and she was cranky.  She was cranky because I was not a pro at breastfeeding.  I asked for a lactation councilor and got a woman how handed me pamphlets.   The next one a day later came in at 2am had me lay sideways and shoved her on then left.  I was at wits end it was hurting and was not working I could tell.  I could tell my baby was hungry.  Finally one day I requested a LC again.  During that time waiting for her a Family Doctor came in.  He was at least the 7th we had seen.  We must have seen over 30 doctors and nurses by the time we left.  I shit you not.  Mind you Clover was already seen my doctors, nurses, Pediatricians and lactation councilors.  When this dr came in to exam her he did it in a different way.  He then went to "talk" to us.  He said that she was tongue tied.  He explained to us what that was and asked certain questions like is she having trouble latching on.  I was stunned.  Why is this not one of the things that are checked in a baby to begin with.  Especially when some one is requesting LC's.  He told me that it had to be confirmed by a LC.  Then a procedure could be done.  In walks Pam, goddess to all LC's, about 2 hours later.  She arrived while, yet another new Pediatrician was in there examining her.  It was confirmed and the Ped put in the order for a EN&T doctor to come to the hospital to snip it.  He did and instant gratification.  Pam then worked with me and my husband each day after that to teach us how to breastfeed.  She did such a great job it was amazing.  She was amazing.  I asked is she had a lip tie because it can be common if one to have both.  They all said no.  I did not check myself.  I was still having an out of body experience.  It was not until she was 3 weeks old that I decided to check after I noticed her lip forming a V on the top lip.  Sure enough she had one.  We went to the Ped the next day and she confirmed she did but there is nothing they can do about it.  There is a movement out west were some have it clipped.  WHAT!  It means that she will have a bad latch, gap teeth, cavities and speech problems.  I truly hope it is small and not enough to be a real issue.  I do see her popping off, get air and having issues.  So I am going to get real determined one of these days.

Back to the hospital stay!  Remember the blood testing.  She had it twice, once at birth then the next day.  The next day was torture to her she cried for the 20 mins it took for him to complete the job. He took her heel poked a hole and squeezed drops of blood into two vials.  It was terrible.  These two test would come back in 24 and 48 hours to determine if she had caught an infection during labor.  the 24 hour came back great.  We left the hospital in what I thought was the 48 with fine results.  Until the next day we were home and got a call that the 48 after 72 showed a grand rod spike that was an indicator of bacteria.  We were told to go back to the hospital to check in and have IV antibiotics.  We were crying the entire way to the hospital.  It was like we were not getting a break.  They retook many tests at the hospital.  Told us she may have a rare contracted Listeria.  We stayed over night at the children's hospital which was scary and uncomfortable, they failed at blood draw 3 times, it was brutal.  After all the scare it was confirmed by about 9 doctors of Infectious Disease that our daughters original sample was contaminated and she is fine.  We were able to go home and start to enjoy our baby girl.  It was a tough 5 days of life.  She is a great little girl, perfect and a parents dream.  I love her so much, more than anything, a love so deep.

Just a little side note that when we were scheduling out last prenatal the calendar had Labor Day Sept 1st staring at us for an option.  We said wouldn't it be wild if I were in labor on labor day.  Well we did and it was.

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